If you’re single, you will “die alone.” You’ve probably heard that message, either directly or through the media. Maybe you’ve conjured up the image yourself: dying alone in a sterile hospital room, lonely and unloved, or dying alone in your apartment, days passing before anyone discovers your body. Oh, the shame, the post-mortem shame. Years ago, I was on an online forum. I said that I wasn’t interested in getting married or having kids. Knowing…
If you want to live a contented life as a bachelor, here are six essential ingredients. Like essential nutrients, if you lack any, your singlehood will not be as happy as it might be. I speak from experience. I have lacked in each area, labored in each area, and seen the benefits in each area. Some of these “essentials” apply to the coupled, too, but all of them have special significance for the single. I’ll…
A romantic partner will complete your life — so we are told in a hundred ways, implicit and explicit. Even if we recognize the foolishness of this belief, it can still pester us, because the conditioning is so pervasive and persistent. So, let’s spend a few minutes deprogramming. First, where does this belief come from? Well, as usual, from nature and nurture. First the nature, then the nuture… Nature We are the products of a…
If you want to get somewhere, you need to deal with the obstacles on the path. Bachelor-shaming is one of the obstacles. It can undermine your ability to live happy and contented bachelor life. It’s worth taking some time to uproot. Shaming attacks rarely come directly, in person. Although occasionally you’ll get some grief from a dipshit online, most of it comes from the surrounding culture – media, Hollywood, etc. It’s a virus in the…
Oh, you’re single and not pursuing in relationships? Congratulations, you’re a loser. If you haven’t been shamed for being a bachelor yet, just wait. It will happen. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen. And the longer you live this way, the more of it you will encounter. We can shrug off most of it, but let’s not underestimate the enemy. Shame kills people every day, and many of those it doesn’t…
If you are trying to live a happy, contented life as a bachelor, you have an enemy, and the enemy is inside. Actually, there are about a dozen of them. I’m talking about a set of destructive, interlocking negative beliefs about the alleged perils of bachelorhood. These beliefs can ruin your chances of having a good, satisfying bachelor life. They can leave you stuck, feeling sad, remorseful, envious, shamed, or uncertain. Here are some examples. …