Pitfalls

Shame Busting, Part I

Oh, you’re single and not pursuing in relationships?  Congratulations, you’re a loser. If you haven’t been shamed for being a bachelor yet, just wait.  It will happen.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen.  And the longer you live this way, the more of it you will encounter.  We can shrug off most of it, but let’s not underestimate the enemy. Shame kills people every day, and many of those it doesn’t…

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Pitfalls

FOMO on Love

If you are trying to live a happy, contented life as a bachelor, you have an enemy, and the enemy is inside.  Actually, there are about a dozen of them.  I’m talking about a set of destructive, interlocking negative beliefs about the alleged perils of bachelorhood.  These beliefs can ruin your chances of having a good, satisfying bachelor life.  They can leave you stuck, feeling sad, remorseful, envious, shamed, or uncertain.  Here are some examples. …

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Prerequisites

Independence

Psychological independence is a cornerstone of a good single life, but we don’t hear much about it.  Oh, we get memes, one-liners, and slogans – be yourself, chart your own course, go your own way, maintain frame, be your own mental point of origin, etc.  But that’s about as far as it goes.  There is very little in-depth discussion of independence – what it is, where it comes from, how to develop it.  That is…

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Overview

Introduction

Welcome to the blog.  I’d like to introduce myself, then say a few words about the blog.  Who Is This Guy, Anyway? I’m a 59-year-old man who prefers the bachelor life. Although I’ve been married and had maybe a dozen girlfriends, I’ve spent probably 80% of my adult life single, and I like it that way. I love the freedom, the spaciousness, the peace, the learning opportunities, and the ability to chart my own course…

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