A romantic partner will complete your life — so we are told in a hundred ways, implicit and explicit. Even if we recognize the foolishness of this belief, it can still pester us, because the conditioning is so pervasive and persistent. So, let’s spend a few minutes deprogramming. First, where does this belief come from? Well, as usual, from nature and nurture. First the nature, then the nuture… Nature We are the products of a…
Have you ever wondered, “Does an LTR (a long-term romantic relationship) support my core values? Does it support what matters most to me in life, or does it undermine it?” It’s a good question to ask. You want, I assume, to pursue things that are consistent with your deepest values and avoid the things that aren’t. I’d like to share with you a simple process for determining whether an LTR serves your core values or…
Most people want to be in a good, healthy, long-term romantic relationship (LTR). I get it. I see the appeal. I’ve been in relationships like that, and I’ve enjoyed them — for a time. But a decade ago, I decided that I didn’t want to be a part of them anymore – not because I was “hurt,” not because something terrible happened, but because it didn’t seem worth the tradeoff. In the abstract, I want…
If you want to live a happy, contented life as a bachelor, there is no more essential internal ingredient than good self-esteem. Conversely, if you lack self-esteem, your bachelor road will be rutted and difficult. It is worth spending some time thinking about and developing this quality. Over the next several articles, I want to lay out the following: What self-esteem is and isn’t, and how you can distinguish the genuine article from the…
I’m getting ready to move from one state to another, and as I do, I realize how much easier it is, when you’re single. I won’t take too long with this, but I want to run through three ways that being a bachelor makes relocation easier and more enjoyable. I’m sure there are some disadvantages to moving solo (e.g., some might find it more challenging or lonely, although I don’t). I will leave that for…
Oh, you’re single and not pursuing in relationships? Congratulations, you’re a loser. If you haven’t been shamed for being a bachelor yet, just wait. It will happen. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will happen. And the longer you live this way, the more of it you will encounter. We can shrug off most of it, but let’s not underestimate the enemy. Shame kills people every day, and many of those it doesn’t…